Talk about getting ready for Evangeline's arrival, I am suffering from a nesting instinct syndrome. Sounds wierd but I learnt about this from a pregnancy book and couldn't believe that all these while, I am displaying signs of such syndrome. Even hubby agreed after reading the book.
It is actually the uncontrollable urge to ready the nest before delivery. For some mothers, they will all of a sudden find it important to clean every corner of the house, cabinets, rearranging furnitures and items in the house. For others, the behaviour can be dramatic like cleaning every crevice of the nursery with toothbrush, rearranging the contents of the kitchen cabinets, ironing and washing everything that isn't tied down or being worn and refolding baby clothes for hours on end.
Trust me, I am doing most of what was said above. Readying the nest is what I have been doing and Hubby is finding it worrisone as he would tell me to rest and I would ignore his concern. After which I would complain to him how tired I am but I still find it satisfying and rewarding when the place is clean and neat and ready for Evangeline to use. Okie, just treat it as house cleaning for the coming New Year!
So have I finished my nesting instinct assignment? Nope...still cleaning here and there, packing here and there but lesser now as my energy is depleting as the day passes. My big tummy, weariness and back pain have been obstructing me from doing work. With frequent Braxton Hicks acting up, I have a strong feeling that I will be popping my baby soon. Still, hospital bag, things to bring over to my Mum's place for confinement are not packed yet. I better get it done soon, if not, I will not have a peace of mind.
Can't wait to carry and play with Evangeline in my arms. Hubby couldn't wait too to caress and hug his precious daughter. So Evangeline, be good, stay healthy till week 37 and after Daddy's exams before you pop into this world k!
Current Mood: Sleepy and Exhausted
: Wedding Anniversary :
:: Our Precious Evangeline ::
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Bringing up Evangeline in future
How would you bring up a child if you know your life, calling would be different from other people and knowing your child may faced problems in future being accepted as her life would be different than others?
I start to ponder and become serious about this topic as I have seen families who are serving the Lord full time and how their children are being brought up and affected in an environment totally different from the way they are going to live in.
I remembered vividly a sharing from a wife of a full time worker on how her children question her why they do not have the luxury of having certain things that their friends have such as toys, computers, pretty clothes, attending enrichment classes, a car, a well furnished house, maids etc. A lot of time and patience were taken to speak and explain to her children, helping them to see more of the faithfulness and providence of the Lord for the things they have currently instead of focusing on what they don't have. It definitely took a great deal of work and understanding from the children to gradually see where their parents are coming from.
Ever since Hubby took the step of faith and obedience to serve the Lord full time, we have gotten ourselves prepared for the future. We knew we are going to live a life totally different, the going is tough, faith is being tested, financially is challenging and lastly, our children and us have to compromise on certain things we have to live without. Question is "How well can we do that?".
I was brought up in a strict, poor, humble and down to earth family. I grew up not having any toys to play with, never have the luxury of exploring or travel beyond the boundaries of my home, my school and Chinatown. (Chinatown is the only place our family goes during weekend.)Most of my clothes were second hand clothes from my mother's customers, toys, books, textbooks, school bags were old usable ones from heaps of rubbish thrown along the corridors by neighbours or even from garbage centres. My grandma would take a stroll along the neighbourhood and bring backs recyclable items which we as a family could use. Those were the days. Not pleasant but yet I felt, we were still living blissfully within our means then. Things got a lot better when I reached adolescence and adulthood but yet it somehow shaped me to continue to live simply and not materialistic.
I never despise or regret the way I was brought up instead I was thankful. Yes, I was thankful because the life I lived in helps to mould my moral values, character and the way I am now which also enable me to adapt quickly in living simply and within our means without much problems.
Then how about our children? Won't Evangeline question us in future when she is sensible enough to know why we cannot buy things as freely as we used to be, able to enjoy life like others? So how are we preparing ourselves for this situation? I guess we really have to start her when she is young.
1) Homeschooling our kids: Well, that did come into our mind which we thought it was a good idea as you have quality bonding time with your kids, shaping their character well in the ways of the Lord and you have better control over disciplining them and correcting their flaws if they are not pleasing to us or God. However, Hubby is concerned over the interpersonal and social skills which they may lack as they are home bound. So I am still fine tuning that and see what I can do to meet the concerns that Hubby has.
2) Teach my kids to be simple and appreciative: From young, I am going to teach, model and show them how to be thankful, to be simple, to be appreciative of what they have. For example, I will not pamper them too much with materialistic things, only necessary ones and in the right amount. I will teach them how to be thrifty, buy things that are needed, only buy new ones when items are worn out or spoilt. Let them understand that old items are good as well as long as they are usable. Of cause, we as parents will not be "giam" or overly thrifty and become stingy as God also teaches us to be generous. This above task is not easy but we will take up the challenge.
3) Incoporate Bible teaching in daily life: I have some SAHM who homeschool their kids. They bought some homeschool materials which have bible teachings incorporated into the education curriculum which I thought was cool and interesting. The curriculum ranges from pre school to primary level having bible lessons incorporated with English, Art, Science etc. Only Maths is not included. Guess that has to be taught separately. Since I may not homeschool Evangeline but I will source this curriculum out and use the bible lesson parts to teach my Evangeline and in terms of Maths, English, Art, Science, I will do the job cause I am a trained primary school teacher so that should not be a problem for me.
4) Enrichment classes: Guess too expensive for us. We will see if our child is gifted or shows some talent in certain areas, we will try our best to groom her. This, we will leave it to the Lord for His providence. :)
5) Outings: There are a lot of "free of charge" places like seaside, parks and those "good and affordable" museums, shows etc for Evangeline to explore, have fun and hands on experience to train them in their brain development, having touch with nature, tapping on their curiosity and interest in finding out answers for themselves. It also established close bonding and quality time between us and Evangeline. This is good.
6)Love, Encouragement and Praise: Constantly praising and encouraging your child can boost their confidence, self-esteem and their social and interpersonal skills with people. I hope Evangeline will also pick up good communication skills and also learn how to show love, care and concern to people around her through us as parents modeling to her. Thus, Hubby and I must constantly and carefully remind ourselves in our daily actions, modelling the right attitude, moral values and showing Godly ways to her.
7)Open to discussion/ being communicative: We also realised thru our own experiences on how we were brought up that communication is very important. When there is a conflict or areas that need to be corrected, we need to open up ourselves to talk, resolve, communicate honestly and sincerely with our children. We need to adopt not a domineering approach but creating a safe and open environment for our children, being patient and allowing us as parents to listen to their perspectives and some freedom for them to express their thoughts. This is important for them to establish trust in you and in future, they will also turn to you for advises and solutions.
8) Canning? Scolding or love and care as disciplinary acts?: Well, Spare the Rod and spoil the child. I am not sure about Hubby, but I believe to some extend, we need to use the rod in disciplining our child. However, not as a mean to express our anger onto our child, but use the rod wisely as a form of reinforcing to the child that certain acts are not to be done again or when the child has gone extreme in terms of his or her misbehaviour. Most of the time, by talking to the child lovingly, reasonably and showing that correcting their mistakes are for their own good, letting them know the consequences of their action and teaching them to be responsible for their actions are more appropriate methods than canning. Only canned when needed.
Guess that is all for now. Typing them and reflecting on them are easy tasks to do. Executing them is another challenge. May God's abundance blessing be onto us, be our anchor point in our life always, guiding us in every steps we take and helping us to be the Godly parents for Evangeline and bringing up Evangeline in the ways of Lord and through this, she will be a blessing to others as well.
Current Mood: Reflective
I start to ponder and become serious about this topic as I have seen families who are serving the Lord full time and how their children are being brought up and affected in an environment totally different from the way they are going to live in.
I remembered vividly a sharing from a wife of a full time worker on how her children question her why they do not have the luxury of having certain things that their friends have such as toys, computers, pretty clothes, attending enrichment classes, a car, a well furnished house, maids etc. A lot of time and patience were taken to speak and explain to her children, helping them to see more of the faithfulness and providence of the Lord for the things they have currently instead of focusing on what they don't have. It definitely took a great deal of work and understanding from the children to gradually see where their parents are coming from.
Ever since Hubby took the step of faith and obedience to serve the Lord full time, we have gotten ourselves prepared for the future. We knew we are going to live a life totally different, the going is tough, faith is being tested, financially is challenging and lastly, our children and us have to compromise on certain things we have to live without. Question is "How well can we do that?".
I was brought up in a strict, poor, humble and down to earth family. I grew up not having any toys to play with, never have the luxury of exploring or travel beyond the boundaries of my home, my school and Chinatown. (Chinatown is the only place our family goes during weekend.)Most of my clothes were second hand clothes from my mother's customers, toys, books, textbooks, school bags were old usable ones from heaps of rubbish thrown along the corridors by neighbours or even from garbage centres. My grandma would take a stroll along the neighbourhood and bring backs recyclable items which we as a family could use. Those were the days. Not pleasant but yet I felt, we were still living blissfully within our means then. Things got a lot better when I reached adolescence and adulthood but yet it somehow shaped me to continue to live simply and not materialistic.
I never despise or regret the way I was brought up instead I was thankful. Yes, I was thankful because the life I lived in helps to mould my moral values, character and the way I am now which also enable me to adapt quickly in living simply and within our means without much problems.
Then how about our children? Won't Evangeline question us in future when she is sensible enough to know why we cannot buy things as freely as we used to be, able to enjoy life like others? So how are we preparing ourselves for this situation? I guess we really have to start her when she is young.
1) Homeschooling our kids: Well, that did come into our mind which we thought it was a good idea as you have quality bonding time with your kids, shaping their character well in the ways of the Lord and you have better control over disciplining them and correcting their flaws if they are not pleasing to us or God. However, Hubby is concerned over the interpersonal and social skills which they may lack as they are home bound. So I am still fine tuning that and see what I can do to meet the concerns that Hubby has.
2) Teach my kids to be simple and appreciative: From young, I am going to teach, model and show them how to be thankful, to be simple, to be appreciative of what they have. For example, I will not pamper them too much with materialistic things, only necessary ones and in the right amount. I will teach them how to be thrifty, buy things that are needed, only buy new ones when items are worn out or spoilt. Let them understand that old items are good as well as long as they are usable. Of cause, we as parents will not be "giam" or overly thrifty and become stingy as God also teaches us to be generous. This above task is not easy but we will take up the challenge.
3) Incoporate Bible teaching in daily life: I have some SAHM who homeschool their kids. They bought some homeschool materials which have bible teachings incorporated into the education curriculum which I thought was cool and interesting. The curriculum ranges from pre school to primary level having bible lessons incorporated with English, Art, Science etc. Only Maths is not included. Guess that has to be taught separately. Since I may not homeschool Evangeline but I will source this curriculum out and use the bible lesson parts to teach my Evangeline and in terms of Maths, English, Art, Science, I will do the job cause I am a trained primary school teacher so that should not be a problem for me.
4) Enrichment classes: Guess too expensive for us. We will see if our child is gifted or shows some talent in certain areas, we will try our best to groom her. This, we will leave it to the Lord for His providence. :)
5) Outings: There are a lot of "free of charge" places like seaside, parks and those "good and affordable" museums, shows etc for Evangeline to explore, have fun and hands on experience to train them in their brain development, having touch with nature, tapping on their curiosity and interest in finding out answers for themselves. It also established close bonding and quality time between us and Evangeline. This is good.
6)Love, Encouragement and Praise: Constantly praising and encouraging your child can boost their confidence, self-esteem and their social and interpersonal skills with people. I hope Evangeline will also pick up good communication skills and also learn how to show love, care and concern to people around her through us as parents modeling to her. Thus, Hubby and I must constantly and carefully remind ourselves in our daily actions, modelling the right attitude, moral values and showing Godly ways to her.
7)Open to discussion/ being communicative: We also realised thru our own experiences on how we were brought up that communication is very important. When there is a conflict or areas that need to be corrected, we need to open up ourselves to talk, resolve, communicate honestly and sincerely with our children. We need to adopt not a domineering approach but creating a safe and open environment for our children, being patient and allowing us as parents to listen to their perspectives and some freedom for them to express their thoughts. This is important for them to establish trust in you and in future, they will also turn to you for advises and solutions.
8) Canning? Scolding or love and care as disciplinary acts?: Well, Spare the Rod and spoil the child. I am not sure about Hubby, but I believe to some extend, we need to use the rod in disciplining our child. However, not as a mean to express our anger onto our child, but use the rod wisely as a form of reinforcing to the child that certain acts are not to be done again or when the child has gone extreme in terms of his or her misbehaviour. Most of the time, by talking to the child lovingly, reasonably and showing that correcting their mistakes are for their own good, letting them know the consequences of their action and teaching them to be responsible for their actions are more appropriate methods than canning. Only canned when needed.
Guess that is all for now. Typing them and reflecting on them are easy tasks to do. Executing them is another challenge. May God's abundance blessing be onto us, be our anchor point in our life always, guiding us in every steps we take and helping us to be the Godly parents for Evangeline and bringing up Evangeline in the ways of Lord and through this, she will be a blessing to others as well.
Current Mood: Reflective
New loot from Clarence
Yesterday, hubby came back with a bag full of baby clothes. It was some hand me downs from one of his classmates, Clarence. We were thankful and delighted to have more clothes for baby Evangeline as we do not wished to buy too many clothes as children outgrow them very quickly. Anyway, 3/4 of the clothes were all hand me downs from cousins and frens, only a few new pieces from Hubby and I. I am glad this loot from Clarence adds more to the current collection we have as most of the clothes we have were for 0-3 months old. We do need more clothes for 3 months and above and Clarence's loot fits the bill. Thank GOd for answering our prayers and of course, helping us to save quite a bit of money. :)
Got half of the loot washed this morning. Certainly not easy to handwash clothes but cause my baby detergent foams a lot so I dare not machine wash again as I believe the detergent is not low sud.
We were also happy that we dun have to return these clothes to Clarence unlike clothes frm cousins which we need to sort them out away from those clothes I bought. I hope along the way, I will not mix the clothes up and remember which set belongs to which cousin. That's kind of troublesome but it is also a good gesture as we can pass down clothes from one cousin to another and help one another out. It's not a bad idea afterall. I have to think of a way to separate them out...Oh well.........
Current Mood: Thankful
Got half of the loot washed this morning. Certainly not easy to handwash clothes but cause my baby detergent foams a lot so I dare not machine wash again as I believe the detergent is not low sud.
We were also happy that we dun have to return these clothes to Clarence unlike clothes frm cousins which we need to sort them out away from those clothes I bought. I hope along the way, I will not mix the clothes up and remember which set belongs to which cousin. That's kind of troublesome but it is also a good gesture as we can pass down clothes from one cousin to another and help one another out. It's not a bad idea afterall. I have to think of a way to separate them out...Oh well.........
Current Mood: Thankful
Monday, October 6, 2008
At 32 weeks...
Just seen Doc A and baby's head is facing downward already but not engaged so should be able to have a full term baby. However, I must be careful, not to exert too much strength and learn to rest more.
Baby weighs 1.8kg and I put on another 2kg more. My current weight is 63kg and only 500g goes to baby...Argh......
Next appt is 3 weeks from now..Hopefully, baby will put on more weight but not too heavy as I aim to have a natural delivery rather than C-sect.
I am feeling very anxious and excited. Still got lots of things to prepare before her arrival. I can't wait!
Current mood: Blissed
Baby weighs 1.8kg and I put on another 2kg more. My current weight is 63kg and only 500g goes to baby...Argh......
Next appt is 3 weeks from now..Hopefully, baby will put on more weight but not too heavy as I aim to have a natural delivery rather than C-sect.
I am feeling very anxious and excited. Still got lots of things to prepare before her arrival. I can't wait!
Current mood: Blissed
Warming your heart with love..........
This is so touching. What a sacrificing heart, just like Jesus...Enjoy!
Current Mood: Touched
Thanks Royston for sharing.
Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages
I was reading one of my friend's hubby's blog and he wrote a summary of the above book which is so clear, precise and easily understood. This book also helped me and hubby to not just understand each other's needs but also to improve our communication. It strengthens, builds strong bonding among us and also to remind us how complacent, selfish we can be when we treat each other daily. So sharing this with you all and thanks Royston for writing such a beautiful and inspiring post. It refreshes my mind once again.
Here are the 5 Languages of Love in summary.
Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that dress,” or “You must be the best cook in the world! I love your fried rice!” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.
Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.
Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.
Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.
Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing frisbee together, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.
Receiving Gifts
Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.
The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things.
These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.
Acts of Service
Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.
Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.
It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.
Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.
It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.
All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.
It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.
Current Mood: Enlightened
Here are the 5 Languages of Love in summary.
Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that dress,” or “You must be the best cook in the world! I love your fried rice!” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.
Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.
Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.
Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.
Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing frisbee together, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.
Receiving Gifts
Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.
The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things.
These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.
Acts of Service
Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.
Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.
It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.
Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.
It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.
All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.
It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.
Current Mood: Enlightened
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
