Bringing up Evangeline in future

How would you bring up a child if you know your life, calling would be different from other people and knowing your child may faced problems in future being accepted as her life would be different than others?

I start to ponder and become serious about this topic as I have seen families who are serving the Lord full time and how their children are being brought up and affected in an environment totally different from the way they are going to live in.

I remembered vividly a sharing from a wife of a full time worker on how her children question her why they do not have the luxury of having certain things that their friends have such as toys, computers, pretty clothes, attending enrichment classes, a car, a well furnished house, maids etc. A lot of time and patience were taken to speak and explain to her children, helping them to see more of the faithfulness and providence of the Lord for the things they have currently instead of focusing on what they don't have. It definitely took a great deal of work and understanding from the children to gradually see where their parents are coming from.

Ever since Hubby took the step of faith and obedience to serve the Lord full time, we have gotten ourselves prepared for the future. We knew we are going to live a life totally different, the going is tough, faith is being tested, financially is challenging and lastly, our children and us have to compromise on certain things we have to live without. Question is "How well can we do that?".

I was brought up in a strict, poor, humble and down to earth family. I grew up not having any toys to play with, never have the luxury of exploring or travel beyond the boundaries of my home, my school and Chinatown. (Chinatown is the only place our family goes during weekend.)Most of my clothes were second hand clothes from my mother's customers, toys, books, textbooks, school bags were old usable ones from heaps of rubbish thrown along the corridors by neighbours or even from garbage centres. My grandma would take a stroll along the neighbourhood and bring backs recyclable items which we as a family could use. Those were the days. Not pleasant but yet I felt, we were still living blissfully within our means then. Things got a lot better when I reached adolescence and adulthood but yet it somehow shaped me to continue to live simply and not materialistic.

I never despise or regret the way I was brought up instead I was thankful. Yes, I was thankful because the life I lived in helps to mould my moral values, character and the way I am now which also enable me to adapt quickly in living simply and within our means without much problems.

Then how about our children? Won't Evangeline question us in future when she is sensible enough to know why we cannot buy things as freely as we used to be, able to enjoy life like others? So how are we preparing ourselves for this situation? I guess we really have to start her when she is young.

1) Homeschooling our kids: Well, that did come into our mind which we thought it was a good idea as you have quality bonding time with your kids, shaping their character well in the ways of the Lord and you have better control over disciplining them and correcting their flaws if they are not pleasing to us or God. However, Hubby is concerned over the interpersonal and social skills which they may lack as they are home bound. So I am still fine tuning that and see what I can do to meet the concerns that Hubby has.

2) Teach my kids to be simple and appreciative: From young, I am going to teach, model and show them how to be thankful, to be simple, to be appreciative of what they have. For example, I will not pamper them too much with materialistic things, only necessary ones and in the right amount. I will teach them how to be thrifty, buy things that are needed, only buy new ones when items are worn out or spoilt. Let them understand that old items are good as well as long as they are usable. Of cause, we as parents will not be "giam" or overly thrifty and become stingy as God also teaches us to be generous. This above task is not easy but we will take up the challenge.

3) Incoporate Bible teaching in daily life: I have some SAHM who homeschool their kids. They bought some homeschool materials which have bible teachings incorporated into the education curriculum which I thought was cool and interesting. The curriculum ranges from pre school to primary level having bible lessons incorporated with English, Art, Science etc. Only Maths is not included. Guess that has to be taught separately. Since I may not homeschool Evangeline but I will source this curriculum out and use the bible lesson parts to teach my Evangeline and in terms of Maths, English, Art, Science, I will do the job cause I am a trained primary school teacher so that should not be a problem for me.

4) Enrichment classes: Guess too expensive for us. We will see if our child is gifted or shows some talent in certain areas, we will try our best to groom her. This, we will leave it to the Lord for His providence. :)

5) Outings: There are a lot of "free of charge" places like seaside, parks and those "good and affordable" museums, shows etc for Evangeline to explore, have fun and hands on experience to train them in their brain development, having touch with nature, tapping on their curiosity and interest in finding out answers for themselves. It also established close bonding and quality time between us and Evangeline. This is good.

6)Love, Encouragement and Praise: Constantly praising and encouraging your child can boost their confidence, self-esteem and their social and interpersonal skills with people. I hope Evangeline will also pick up good communication skills and also learn how to show love, care and concern to people around her through us as parents modeling to her. Thus, Hubby and I must constantly and carefully remind ourselves in our daily actions, modelling the right attitude, moral values and showing Godly ways to her.

7)Open to discussion/ being communicative: We also realised thru our own experiences on how we were brought up that communication is very important. When there is a conflict or areas that need to be corrected, we need to open up ourselves to talk, resolve, communicate honestly and sincerely with our children. We need to adopt not a domineering approach but creating a safe and open environment for our children, being patient and allowing us as parents to listen to their perspectives and some freedom for them to express their thoughts. This is important for them to establish trust in you and in future, they will also turn to you for advises and solutions.

8) Canning? Scolding or love and care as disciplinary acts?: Well, Spare the Rod and spoil the child. I am not sure about Hubby, but I believe to some extend, we need to use the rod in disciplining our child. However, not as a mean to express our anger onto our child, but use the rod wisely as a form of reinforcing to the child that certain acts are not to be done again or when the child has gone extreme in terms of his or her misbehaviour. Most of the time, by talking to the child lovingly, reasonably and showing that correcting their mistakes are for their own good, letting them know the consequences of their action and teaching them to be responsible for their actions are more appropriate methods than canning. Only canned when needed.

Guess that is all for now. Typing them and reflecting on them are easy tasks to do. Executing them is another challenge. May God's abundance blessing be onto us, be our anchor point in our life always, guiding us in every steps we take and helping us to be the Godly parents for Evangeline and bringing up Evangeline in the ways of Lord and through this, she will be a blessing to others as well.

Current Mood: Reflective